Financial Discipline: The Greatest Form of Self Care

Illustrations by Beauman Moore

October Rob vs March Rob

A few years ago, I was volunteering with other parents at my sons’ little league fields for our Saturday fall-clean-up day. Every year, parents dedicate a few hours on a Saturday morning to ensure the fields are prepared for winter and all equipment is removed and put away.

This particular Saturday, I was in a hurry to watch my college football team on TV. As we placed equipment in the storage sheds, my buddy noticed me haphazardly placing items in a disorganized way.

“Don’t you think that will make things harder in the Spring?” he asked.

“Pfft, that’s March Rob’s problem,” I responded. “This is October Rob. March Rob can deal with it in the spring. October Rob has football to watch.”  We both laughed.

Sure enough, March arrived and it was time to set the fields up for the season. There I was with the same observant buddy of mine, standing in front of a disorganized pile of equipment.

“What do you think about October Rob?” he asked.

“Screw that guy.”

Three Versions of You

Let me introduce you to three individuals. You already know them well, but you’ve probably never thought about them at the same time. Meet Yesterday-You, Today-You, and Tomorrow-You.

They are all versions of you, just in different times. Yesterday-You might be yesterday, but really could be from anytime in the past. Same for Tomorrow-You. Tomorrow-You can be from tomorrow or any time in the future. Today-You is you right now in this very moment.

They’re all you. They have the same types of thoughts and feelings you do, relative to where they are in life. But as we continue this idea, remember this: Each variation of You considers themselves “Today-You”. That is, in their moment in time, from their perspective, they see themselves in their current world, dealing with their current problems.

Self-care

Imagine Today-You (the real Today-You) is stressed out and burdened with work, family, finances, or some combination of these. I imagine this may be the case. There is always something nagging at us to get done or improve on. After all, you’re reading this article, aren’t you?

In stressful times, it is a commonly accepted practice to insert some form of self-care into our busy schedules. Friends and family might encourage us to take a break when we seem stressed or burnt out and typically this is very helpful when needed. The release valve is opened and some of the pressure is released. Self-care achieved.

This self-care can be enjoyed in any number of ways. A nap, a spa day, going to a movie, bingeing a season on TV, or ordering take-out and enjoying a few drinks while you wait. These indulgent moments are only a few possibilities of the endless ways we can take a well-earned break from the grind and release some pressure.

Self-Care is a Gift

Regardless of our form of preferred self-care, ultimately it is a gift. It is a gift received in the present moment and intended to be used immediately. Open and enjoy.

Of course, this gift could actually be gifted from someone else, but I don’t want you to consider that angle for now. For our purposes, think about self-care as simply the gift of what it provides for you. The time off, the brain break, the physical pleasure, or the indulgent joy.

What about October Rob? He certainly felt stressed about something. I can’t remember if there was something else hanging over October Rob’s head, but the idea of missing college kick-off was supposedly stressful enough. October Rob needed a gift of self-care and decided to receive it in the moment. He decided to cut his time short in order to enjoy his football (and snacks) as soon as possible.

Who Gives the Gift?

What about Today-You? Doesn’t Today-You feel stressed about something? Doesn’t Today-You deserve a gift of self-care?

While I’m sure Today-You has a reason to take a moment of self-care, there is one more piece we need to consider. If self-care is a gift, then who are we receiving this gift from? Remember, we’re not considering if someone else is paying for it. So, who then?

Back to October Rob; he certainly felt justified in enjoying his indulgent moment and running off to watch TV. If that was a gift, who provided it?

Gift received from yesterday or stolen from tomorrow

The hard truth is, October Rob didn’t receive the gift at all. He stole it. He stole it from March Rob. October Rob took the moment of convenience and chose to place the burden on March Rob to handle the cost. What’s worse, March Rob had no say in the matter.

Instead of October and March Rob, let’s think about Yesterday-You and Today-You. How would you feel if Yesterday-You had stolen a gift from Today-You. Here you are, Today-You, likely just as stressed as Yesterday-You, but left dealing with the cost of the indulgence Yesterday-You enjoyed. Pretty awful, huh? How do you deal with it? Perhaps Today-You is forced to deal with it now (as March Rob had to), or maybe Today-You has the option to put it off for Tomorrow-You. Now it’s Today-You enjoying the gift and, you guessed it, you’re stealing it once again. Only this time you’re stealing it from Tomorrow-You.

Gift Given

What makes these scenarios so awful is that one version of you (today or tomorrow) doesn’t have a choice in the matter. Eventually someone will have to pay for a gift stolen. Buying something on a credit card, putting work off for another time, or any other form of delayed payment is not only a gift stolen from Tomorrow-You, but even worse it is a choice stolen. In this gift exchange, it is not a gift freely given. It is taken.

But what if both people do have a choice. What if both the gift giver and the receiver have a choice? October Rob certainly had a choice to do the right thing. What if he chose to give the gift to March Rob instead of stealing it? In this story, October Rob would take the extra time to efficiently store the equipment, making March Rob’s experience much easier. Not only would March Rob receive the gift, but perhaps March Rob could take the extra time to make something else more efficient for future versions. Pay it forward. Both versions have a choice.

The Greatest Gift

When it comes to your finances, this trade happens constantly. Every day we are faced with our obligations and must make decisions regarding how to handle them.

The simplest version is this: Today-You pays for all of today’s obligations. This is when you spend exactly what you earn, up to the penny. All your current costs are covered by your current income. As you know, this is a fragile place to live.

What if we spend more than we make? This is the version where you are constantly stealing from tomorrow versions of yourself. Each version of Tomorrow-You is faced with the reality of paying for this stolen gift or stealing it once again from future versions. Just as before, what you’re really stealing is more than a gift, you’re stealing choices from Tomorrow-You.

And of course, when you spend less than you make, you are constantly giving. Every day you receive the gift from Yesterday-You in the form of a choice, just as Yesterday-You did. You can choose to buy something you’ve been saving for or once again forward the gift on to Tomorrow-You (along with a gift from Today-You as well). These gifts combine and compound, creating more and more choices for the versions to come. Of course, at any time you can choose to receive one of these gifts. You can choose to enjoy a night out or the running shoes you wanted, but instead of stealing this from a regretful future version of yourself, you’re receiving it from a gracious version from yesterday. Both versions are happy, with choices to spare for future you(s).

Gift of All Kinds

This idea isn’t limited to finance. There are ways you can do this with fitness, diet, wellness, homework, chores, business building, hobbies, and so on. The gift you give to Tomorrow-You may be money saved, a chapter from an inspiring book read, a long walk, a choice to skip dessert, or a moment in prayer. Once you understand the gifts you can give Future-You, you will see them everywhere. Go fold that load of laundry before bed. Or maybe set the coffee maker to wake you up along with a clean counter.

Tomorrow-You doesn’t have a choice yet. Yesterday-You has already made theirs. You have a choice today to receive a gift from yesterday, give a gift to tomorrow, or steal one. As always, discipline is a series of choices. Today-You has an opportunity for the greatest form of self-care - a true gift to yourself. Keep paying it forward.

Special thanks to Brandon Lovingier for his contribution to this article. Find more about Brandon at The Enlisted Money Guy